Dear Reader, after a six-month hiatus, I finally published another video on my YouTube channel! 😅 I had a great time putting this one together - it's a reply to a lovely ENFJ viewer's questions about communication styles, and how to get their ESFP partner to pay more focused attention while they're out and about. You can watch it here: Although I don't mention them in the video, it was also a useful reminder that I've had all 178 variations of "Your Love Profiles" reports saved on my...
25 days ago • 1 min read
Dear Reader, I published my “Who Are You At Your Core?” quiz almost five years ago. Since then, it gave over 5,000 people a glimpse into the basics of Dr. Linda Berens' Essential Motivator(TM) model. Proof or it didn't happen - screenshot from my quiz dashboard, May 2025 Many of you signed up for this newsletter on the basis of that quiz - thank you so much for continuing to be interested in Type and Relationship insights! ✨ In case you were wondering, more than half of you probably have an...
about 1 month ago • 2 min read
Dear Reader, last week I was quiet, because I was fully concentrating on my "Happier, Healthier Relationships with Type" session for the APTi (more on that below), and this week I was almost going to be quiet, because life was life-ing... but I want to get better at sharing whatever comes up, so here we go. As you may have heard, Monday saw a major power outage in mainland Spain, Portugal, and parts of France. I didn't even become aware of it until later in the afternoon. But I soon learned...
about 2 months ago • 3 min read
Dear Reader, when I first started getting certified in MBTI(r) and interested in Type, I was looking for a community where I could learn from others and exchange ideas. At the time (2010), we were living in Texas, and the Association for Psychological Type International (APTi) had a chapter in town. I started attending meetings and eventually began volunteering and even served as the DFW-APT President for a while. It was such a privilege to organize programs, invite excellent speakers, make...
2 months ago • 2 min read
Dear Doris, I knew having a baby would change my body, my sleep, my priorities - but I wasn’t prepared for how it would kill my sex drive. It's been 8 months and I'm still not feeling desire in any way! I love my partner, but by the time the baby is finally asleep, the last thing I want is to be touched. I really miss sex, but my body doesn’t seem to cooperate, and I worry my partner thinks I don’t care anymore. How do I get my desire back when I barely recognize myself these days? Frustrated...
2 months ago • 4 min read
Dear Doris, I love my partner, and I know they love me too - but if I didn’t initiate, I swear we’d never have sex again. It’s not that they don’t enjoy it when we do, I think, but they never make the first move. At first, I told myself they didn’t realize I wanted them to initiate more. But after countless hints and even pulling back for a week to see if they’d step up (they didn’t), I’m starting to wonder… don't they care about my needs? Am I not attractive anymore? It makes me feel...
3 months ago • 4 min read
Dear Reader, Over the next few weeks, I'd like to try my hand at my version of a "Dear Sugar"-esque intimacy and relationship column. The questions are a mix of case studies from my past and current certification programs, conversations I've had with friends and clients, as well as submissions from this anonymous form I've had up on my socials for a few months now: https://forms.gle/Z5jpSRsjeJ7AZmRd6 Everything is anonymized; I even removed gendered language as much as possible. If you have a...
3 months ago • 3 min read
Dear Reader, What if relationship struggles weren’t a sign that something was wrong—but a sign that something was trying to grow? In their Developmental Model, Dr. Ellyn Bader and Dr. Peter Pearson describe relationships as living systems that evolve through predictable stages. Just like individuals, couples need to grow, adapt, and differentiate to stay healthy. When they don’t, they get stuck, which often leads to disconnection, resentment, and painful cycles that just repeat over and over...
3 months ago • 6 min read
Dear Reader, Last week, we talked about how one way dominant extraverted Feeling Types (Fe; ENFJ, ESFJ) may show up authentically is by putting their own needs on the back burner for the sake of keeping a relationship. In other words, attachment often is the authentic choice for Fe Types. We also mentioned that over-relying on one function is the mark of youth, and can spell the end for a relationship. Today, I’d like to explore how Type can help you expand your options to show up...
3 months ago • 7 min read