Dear Reader, I'm running an experiment this year which is basically a course in expanding relational intelligence - for free. I publish a new video on my YouTube channel every month, and then invite you to talk about it (or anything you like regarding Type and relationships) during free office hours. Here's February's video, where we explore how to break free from frustrating relationship patterns by shifting the focus from changing your partner to understanding and disrupting the...
about 2 months ago • 1 min read
Dear Reader, Over the past few months, I’ve been thinking a lot about how relationship skills are not usually built in one breakthrough conversation, but through small, intentional practices over time. I’ve recently published a new video where I outline 12 relationship-strengthening exercises, one for each month of the year: Alongside it, I’ve created a work-in-progress workbook and I’m opening up a monthly YouTube Live where we can talk about relationships, personality type, and how these...
3 months ago • 1 min read
Mapping Relational Intelligence A guide to navigating intimacy and identity. Dear Reader, I’m so glad you’re here. If you've been with me for a while, you know that I write in bursts: some seasons were full of weekly reflections, others pretty quiet for months on end. For someone who loves to stay in touch, "creating content" has proved to be remarkably challenging! But it's also true that writing helps me unravel my thoughts and feelings, and I do enjoy it on the whole. Well, I'm always...
4 months ago • 1 min read
Dear Reader, one year ago today, Mo and I left the United States. I organized the movers, move-out, and flights for the same day. Worked out splendidly. Final view of BBP from BQE on way to JFK (IYKYK) Last pic I've ever taken of Manhattan skyline - for now. It was about a week after I facilitated a workshop on boundaries and relationship coping styles with a bunch of amazing women that I still remember very well. It was a day before I would have gone trick or treating with friends and their...
5 months ago • 2 min read
Dear Reader, it feels like so much has happened that I don't know where to start... How are you? Did you have a nice August? What's good, what's new, what do you have going on for the remainder of the year? I have been over here posting ENFJ videos on writing, communication, conflict, decision-making, and Linda Berens' Envisioner Mentor descriptions. View from Cruz de Tejeda during an excursion - one of the hottest days, so the view wasn't as clear as it could have been. We have also hosted...
7 months ago • 1 min read
Dear Reader, summer has arrived in the Northern Hemisphere, and with that comes a shift in priorities and, not gonna lie, some lethargy. So just to manage expectations, you'll probably hear a little less from me over the next several weeks. Ok, I might send a few pieces from the archives that have resonated in the past and deserve another airing, just so you won't forget all about me. ;-) For today, I want to share a new series I've been doing on my YouTube channel: reading what people have...
9 months ago • 1 min read
Dear Reader, We've recently subscribed to Showtime again, and are finally able to catch up with one of my favorite TV shows, Couples Therapy. In case you're unfamiliar, it's where a real psychoanalyst (Dr. Orna Guralnik) talks to real couples (so many) about their issues. In Season 3b, there's a particular one that caught my interest, Josh and Natasha. I may have started watching this show purely for infotainment, but the more training I've been receiving, the more I pay attention to Orna's...
9 months ago • 8 min read
Dear Reader, Last week I wrote about a question I’ve been having about whether Type preferences might have evolved in part as a response to childhood trauma, or to what extent our innate preferences influenced how we developed and dealt with that. My friend Cindy emailed me a paper about whole Type and the archetypal Self in response, and that helped put some shape around something else I’ve been noodling on. So this week, I’m going to go a little further “out there” and ask, what if the...
9 months ago • 8 min read
Dear Reader, What if your Psychological Type was more than a set of predispositions? What if it was a collaborative response, crafted by your psyche in the earliest years, to meet the demands of love and belonging? This idea has been quietly circling in my mind for some time, and I want to try and wrap my head around it. How are the patterns of how we show up, our go-to ways of thinking, relating, making sense of the world, related to the psyche’s way of protecting us when our relational...
10 months ago • 6 min read