A guide for navigating the terrain between who you’ve been, who you’re becoming, and how you love along the way.
May 2026 - Brain Insights, Substack, Upcoming Events
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Dear Reader, if you've been reading my notes for a while, you know I have an intellectual crush on Lisa Feldman Barrett and her theory of constructed emotion. (I blogged about the overlaps I see between her, Jung, and Damasio here.) Her latest paper argues that our brain's fundamental operating principle is prediction - and not just for emotions: The brain doesn't perceive the world and then categorize it. It categorizes first, using predictions rooted in somatic processes, and then uses incoming sensory signals to refine those predictions. In other words, what we experience as "seeing" or "hearing" is really a prediction that sensory data either confirms or gently corrects. I spun that premise out into a relational exercise which you can find on the blog: https://www.dorisfullgrabe.com/blog/your-partner-has-had-updates-did-you-install-them -- This month's YouTube video is about using differences as data, instead of seeing them as threats: As you may remember, it's part of a year-long building relationship intelligence series (here's the playlist), and if you haven't already, you can download the workbook here: https://dorisfullgrabe.kit.com/2026-videos -- I still don't love social media, but am slowly thawing to the possibility of engaging on a daily short-ish basis again. The platform I've chosen is Substack, and yes I know it has its own issues, but if you're on there as well, let's connect: https://substack.com/@dorisfullgrabe I've been seeing a bunch of posts about dating on my feed there, and although I don't usually work in that space, I shared some thoughts on choosing partners in another post on the blog: https://www.dorisfullgrabe.com/blog/how-to-choose-a-spouse -- EventsLive Office Hours this year are on the 17th of every month at 5pm GMT. It's a free space where you can bring all your questions, experiments, thoughts, or comments. The last couple turned out to be 1:1 sessions, so hey, there's a good chance you get to pick my brain to your heart's content! Sign up for Sunday, May 17th here. -- Hosted by the Association for Psychological Type International, I'll be presenting my second session on Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Type on Thursday, May 28th. If you're already a member, attendance is free, and guests can come check out one session as well. More information here: https://members.aptinternational.org/site_event_detail.cfm?pk_association_event=35989 -- Last but not least, I'm thrilled to collaborate with Beach House Coworking in Las Palmas for a series of in-person live workshops, starting June 8th! We're starting with three workshops to build self-awareness using Type, and once I see how they go the plan is to expand into more detailed relationship and intimacy sessions in July and August. So, if you happen to be in Las Palmas, hope you come join us! More info here: Phew! Now, what's new with you? Cheers, PS: Interested in something more tailored to you and your relationship, but not ready for coaching? I'd still love to support you! Here are some resources you might find helpful (links): |
Mapping Relational Intelligence
A guide for navigating the terrain between who you’ve been, who you’re becoming, and how you love along the way.
Dear Reader, if you think asking for help with your sexual and intimacy issues is hard, you're absolutely right. The average couple waits 7 years to seek any support, and even then it can take months to build up enough trust with your practitioner to start talking about the real stuff. So much of it feels embarrassing, it's extremely vulnerable, and the smallest whiff of misunderstanding can shut things down. You're incredibly brave for considering it, and I mean that sincerely. Here's an...
Mapping Relational Intelligence A guide to navigating intimacy and identity. Dear Reader, just a quick message today to invite you to this month's Live Office Hours taking place on Tuesday, March 17th, at 5pm GMT. You can register here: dorisfullgrabe.com/events The topic this month is separating facts from interpretation, aka slowing down the jump to conclusions. Here's the video, in case you missed it: Real talk: I know the office hours are on St. Patrick's Day, so if you can't make it, but...
Dear Reader, I'm running an experiment this year which is basically a course in expanding relational intelligence - for free. I publish a new video on my YouTube channel every month, and then invite you to talk about it (or anything you like regarding Type and relationships) during free office hours. Here's February's video, where we explore how to break free from frustrating relationship patterns by shifting the focus from changing your partner to understanding and disrupting the...